Book Reviewers: 10 Facts vs Fiction

Since I started blogging, I’ve noticed I get put into a certain “box”. A few, shall we say, stereotypes, get placed upon our heads and, frankly, they couldn’t be more wrong. Furthermore, I get asked a LOT of (quite) silly questions and burdened with sudden expectations that only a few hybrids (see below for definition) can achieve.

I realise we claim to be book dragons, but we’re are actually human. I mean, there are a few bloggers (Paper Fury to name one), that I genuinely think might be a human/dragon/robot hybrid – she manages to read so many books!

lots of books

So, I’ve decided it’s time to set the record straight for the non-bookish. The real from the fantasy, the fact from the fiction.

These are 10 questions that can make or break friendships with a book blogger.

We are a dangerous species, act wrongly and they will hit you over the head with our book. And we normally carry large books around with us so, be warned!

book hit

Act accordingly, and we’ll love you forever and lend you great books.

I kid, I’m never letting my books out of my sight.

***

1. “How many books do you read?”

FICTION

I read day and night. Food and water is provided for me but, essentially, I function on air and books. I manage about 1000 books a year. Easy.

FACT

I have a full-time job and a social life (my friends aren’t fictional, I promise!). I’d be ecstatic if I read more than one book a week!

2. “I’ve read [insert vague book title], you must have read it too, right?”

thinking

FICTION

Sure, I’ve read every book in the world. Twice.

FACT

F$%^, should I have read this book? What don’t I even know a reference to it?! Am I a failed blogger if I can’t respond with yes? Why do people assume I’ve read everything?!

3. What’s a TBR?

Scared

FICTION

I wouldn’t know, I’ve read all the books in my possession. There is nothing I have left ‘to read’.

FACT

*Runs into dark corner and hides from all the books she hasn’t read staring down at her*

(Click here for more information on TBR’s and the madness it brings.)

4. Why are you buying more books when you have so many to read?

books on books

FICTION

Because I have a library to fill and an endless cash flow.

FACT

Because I love spending money I don’t have on books I won’t read for an average 1–2 years.

Because I’m a glutton for TBR punishment?

Because books make me stupidly happy.

Because books are life.

5. Where did you study English at uni?

FICTION

Oxford, duh. (Or Cambridge, depending on which team wins the boat race that year).

FACT

Erm… So I sort of studied Business Management…and then International Marketing. I read lots of books… about economics and law and finance…

*hangs head in shame*

6. Can you recommend me a book?

run screaming

FICTION

Sure. Here’s something you’ll like…

*hands over reader’s next favourite book*

FACT

Well… what genres do you like? What authors do you like? Have you ever read a book before? What type of person are you? Do you have an e-reader? Will you carry a big book?…

*runs around her bookshelves getting more and more panicky and worked up*.

7. I read this book, it was about [insert a vague, 1 sentence summary], do you know the name?

blink

FICTION

Duh, it was [insert correct title, author, publication date and number of pages].

FACT

*Blinks at person blankly in the hope they realise she is not Google*

8. Can I borrow your book?

no

FICTION

Sure! I love to share books with the world.

FACT

Step. Away. From. The. Book.

*Grabs book back, hugging it like a long-lost puppy*

9. Oh that? I’ve seen the movie, I didn’t bother with the book.

say what

FICTION

I am just glad you understand my reference.

FACT

You are dead to me.

10. Why are you crying? It’s just a book.

fictional character death

FICTION

I’m not crying, there’s some dust in my eye.

FACT

I am utterly in love with these fictional characters and they have just faced [insert almost unimaginable torment] and I am sad. I have shared more with these characters than I have with most people. So dammit, I will cry and I will cry freely for my lost (fictional) brothers in arms!

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